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  • Top Ten Reasons Trump Should Remain President


    It’s been a little over seven months since Donald Trump became *president, and looking at what he’s done in office, and what he would like to do, we’ve come up with a list of reasons Trump should remain in office.

    10. You hate your children. 

    Maybe you have really obnoxious children and they don’t deserve a good future. You figure, why bother trying at this point? They’re little a**holes. They don’t deserve a future anyway. Trump’s ideas will make sure they have no life ahead of them that will be worth anything.

    9. If Adolf Hitler is your idol.

    With Trump’s divisive rhetoric and divide and conquer attitude trivializing and shunning minorities, keeping him in office will do you a lot of good as you emerge from your mom’s basement after years of online trolling.

    8. You like to watch trainwrecks.

    I mean, we all have our hobbies, so if watching a disaster in action is what floats your boat, keeping Trump in office is only good news.

    7. You have stock in defense contractor companies.

    Chances are if Trump remains in office, we’re going to war. And not just war, likely a world war. So if you have stock in any companies who hold contracts with the United States Defense Department, you’d be in pretty good shape.

    6. If your first name is Ivanka.

    Nepotism is a great. Well, at least if you’re Ivanka Trump and have had everything handed to you your entire life and now have an unspecified role in the White House for no reason at all. She’s just there.

    5. You enjoy sh*t stew.

    Some people like to eat bullsh*t up with a spoon. These people are called Trump supporters. They think sh*t stew is delicious. Can’t get enough.

    4. You find chaos intriguing.

    If you love it when things just don’t make any sense, keeping in Trump in office is really working in your best interest. You could have years of scratching your head, throwing the remote and shouting “why God, why?!” ahead of you.

    3. You’re in a coma.

    You don’t know any better, so why not?

    2.  If you want the settlement of Mars to be an absolute necessity.

    Are you tired of waiting for NASA or SpaceX to get their act together and colonize Mars? Well, with Trump in office, it may be a necessity and speed things up.

    1.  You’re Vladimir Putin.

    Self explanatory. Turn on the news.

    And there you have it! The top ten reasons Trump should stay in office. Well, if you’re really horrible, pardon me, deplorable people.

    (pending ongoing investigations into Russian meddling in the 2016 election)

    Featured Photo by Getty Images