This is probably something many of you worry about, and Rush Limbaugh is no different — lesbian farmers.
The thought of it is terrible, right? Two women getting up early, working their land, tending to their animals. It’s outrageous it was it is, and it’s ruining our lives.
Oh wait, I’m not a right-wing conspiracy theorist nutjob like Rush Limbaugh. In fact, I’m a lesbian myself, but I digress…
However, this is truly what Limbaugh seems to believe. During a recent broadcast, he said:
“Have you heard the latest Democrat scam? Have you heard about the agriculture department’s financial grants to lesbian farmers? You think I’m making this up? See, this is how they do it. All right. I hadn’t intended to get into this right off the bat. Let me find it here in the Stack because it’s something that’s happening. It’s actually real, and there is a strategic reason for it.”
Oh, dear lord, please Rush, tell us what that reason is.
He then reads a portion of a Washington Free Beacon article:
“‘Feds Holding Summits for Lesbian Farmers — USDA wants to change image of farmers from ‘white, rich male.’ The US Department of Agriculture is holding summits to promote the role of lesbian farmers as a part of its ‘Rural Pride’ campaign. The agency is working with singer and LGBT activist Cyndi Lauper for a ‘day of conversation’ about the struggles of gay and transgender individuals in rural America. [USDA] says its wants to change the perception of what it means to be a farmer in America away from the ‘white, rich male.””
Oh no! Head for your bunkers! The lesbians are coming!!!
He then posts this photo, which is actually kind of hilarious:
Oh, but wait, there’s more. Limbaugh says:
“You sit in there and laugh.”
Yes, yes I do, but please continue:
“Okay, go ahead and laugh at it, but I’m telling you what they’re doing. They are trying to bust up one of the last geographically conservative regions in the country; that’s rural America.
Rural America happens to be largely conservative. Rural America is made up of self-reliant, rugged individualist types. They happen to be big believers in the Second Amendment. So here comes the Obama Regime with a bunch of federal money and they’re waving it around, and all you gotta do to get it is be a lesbian and want to be a farmer and they’ll set you up. I’m like you; I never before in my life knew that lesbians wanted to be farmers.”
“I never knew that lesbians wanted to get behind the horse and the plow and start burrowing. I never knew it. But apparently enough money it make it happen, and the objective here is to attack rural states. They’re already attacking suburbs, and that has been made perfectly clear by what happened in Milwaukee. They’re going after every geographic region that is known to be largely conservative. They never stop, folks. They are constantly on the march.”
Now, one would think this is satire, but no, it’s not. However, it is equally as hilarious.
Who knew the latest conspiracy theory would be the attack of the lesbian farmer? Gotta give him points for creativity.
Featured Photos by William Thomas Cain, Jim Lo Scalzo-Pool/Getty Images